As I was talking to God this morning, I poured out my heart of the things I know I need to work on. Certain areas of my life just seem to get in the way of being the woman I want to be. Un-organization, un-discipline, impulsivity... the list goes on. As I was praying about where and who I needed to be in Christ, I said to Him, "I'm trying to get there Lord. I'm working on it!"
Do you ever feel like that? Wondering why you can't get there? Why you have to work so hard at it? Do you feel like in order to receive God's blessings, to have the "rite" of passage into the desires of your heart, there is some huge thing you have to work to do to get there?
I so often feel like that. I feel like I will never "get there". There are so many things in my life that need perfecting. How can God use me like I am? How can He influence others for good when so many things about me are so bad? If I just had a little more motivation, discipline, passion! Why would God bless me with the things I need or want when I can't take care of the things I have now? I have to act right and be right for Him to give me the things in life I need.
God whispered...
That's right, I got quiet and He whispered to my heart. This is what He said, "Baby girl! Have you not learned this by now? It's not about what you do, it's about who you are. When I put Adam and Eve in the garden, what did I ask of them? I placed them where I wanted them, took care of them, walked with them, loved on them... not because of anything they did; not because they were trying to do anything."
It's amazing how clear things can be when GOD speaks them. I pondered for a while on that this morning. Here is what God is showing me. The only thing that kept Adam and Eve from God's blessings, provision, and ability to walk closely with Him... was their sin and disobedience. It wasn't the things they did to work hard at being His children. WE DON'T HAVE TO WORK AT BEING GOD'S CHILDREN... we already ARE. (Those who have accepted and repented of course.)
The only thing God wants me to do, is keep sin out of my life and be obedient. His blessings don't hinge on if I got my house cleaned up this weekend, or if I agreed to do that Bible study, or even if I went to church this morning. I CANNOT work for His blessings. Just as He did with Adam and Eve.. they are part of the package. He WANTS to take care of me. He wants to bless me.
Yes, God wants us to keep sin out of our lives. He wants us to be obedient. But even when Adam and Eve directly disobeyed God, He still took care of them. He still provided for them. For goodness sakes, He made them clothes! Where there new obstacles to overcome after their disobedience? YES! But what I believe God wanted me to see this morning is that MY WORK is not what is going to make or break His blessings on me. My obedience on the other hand, and sin in my life... that is a different story.
So, is my house being a mess a sin? No, it is a direct result of my un-organization. Should I think God isn't going to bless me and help me with the leaky faucet just because I have clothes piled up on my bed? Of course not!
So what is my point? Maybe we waste time trying to get there and forget about the actual journey itself. Do I need to learn to keep a better house? Yes of course. But is it going to keep me from being God's child and Him providing for me? No.
I am using my own personal example of things that bother me most; but each of you has that one thing that makes you sit and think, "Oh God will never help me with this until I do...." God wants to pour His blessings out on His children. He wants to take care of us. He wants us to grow in Him. But, He doesn't want us so busy with getting there, that we forget who He is and how much He loves us.
I don't know if this has helped anyone or not today. Sometimes when God speaks to me, I feel it so internally that it is hard to put an external explanation on it. But, I know God wanted me to share... and it's all about obedience, right?
