Friday, January 15, 2010


Centered... focussed... balanced... all words an ADD woman like me can't seem to get a grip on. Finding the peace of being in the center of God's will, focussed on His direction on my life, and balanced between spirit living and flesh living seems more of a battle than anything else.

Lately I have been under a lot of stress. Probably a good amount of it is self-induced, but nevertheless, stress is stress! I spent the entire night itching for no reason. I tossed and turned. My mind ran endlessly on the things going on in my life. Should I have done this? How do I know the right decision about that? Where should I go? Wonder if I would have done something differently, would things be different? You know how it is.

As a dear friend on facebook sent me a "Praying for You" message, God showed me something. I have been so stressed out about the fear of NOT being in the center of His will. I battle between worrying if something is God's will or just something I personally would like. Is it the Spirit leading? Or is this a fleshly desire? My balance, focus, and peace is totally destroyed.

What God showed me is pretty simple. Instead of being in an uproar about being in the center of His will, I need to just allow myself to rest in His hand. Now I am not saying I don't want to be in the center of His will; but if I am resting in the center of His hand.. then I am also going to be in the center of His will.

Being a who God wants us to be, isn't as difficult as we make it out to be. We just have to rest in God. He sent Jesus to be our Savior. When I think about being in the center of God's hand, I have this visual that just brings me to tears. I think of Jesus and the nail wholes in His hand. If I am in the center of His huge hands... I am sitting right in the scars of the holes in His hands. I can almost see the skin of his hands as a wall around me. I wish I could describe it as beautifully as I see it. Such a place of protection, yet a place to constantly see the pain He bore to love us.

Today... why don't you try to be centered. Quit working so hard to find the center of God's will and just rest in the center of His loving nail scarred hands.

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