Being the internet codependent junkie that I am, I always go online to get my mapquest directions when I am going somewhere unfamiliar. Whether it is a trip across town, or a long road trip, I just like to KNOW where I am going and HOW to get there.
This morning while praying about some "issues" life has thrown my way, I broke down in tears asking God for directions. I saw a HUGE green road sign as I was praying and said, "Lord why can't you just put a big green sign in front of my face like that, then I wouldn't be so confused on what path you want me to take." You see... I am so afraid of taking the wrong route that I am at the state of almost just being tormented.
At the moment the verses Proverbs 3:5-6 came to mind:
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not unto your own understand. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths."
I thought, "Well that is all good and all... and I do know you will direct my paths.. but how am I supposed to know where you are directing me?"
Once again, God quietly spoke to me. You see. I am sitting here looking for a big green sign on the highway of life. I want to stay in the fast lane and just breeze through every trial and tribulation. I want to quick way to arrive at my destination. But God showed me today that sometimes... probably most of the time, I am not looking at the right road signs. We are to take the narrow path. Think about it... how many of those little country side roads.. you know the narrow ones that aren't traveled by many... how many of those do you see on big green signs. Usually they are on a small little sign off the side of the road. You have to keep your eyes open and keep your speed down to see them.
OUCH!!!! Ok God! Ok! I hear ya! That was lesson #1. As I was wiping the tears away, in my complete frustration and desire to do God's will; follow His path, but not have to be in so much pain in the process; I asked God one more question: "But God... how do I know deal with the anxiety and fear of missing that small little road sign along the way?"
God in his graciousness touched my spirit and, of course, answered, "Stay close enough to me to feel my nudge as you come to the path I want you to take. There aren't any landmarks for me to give you, just listen closely."
Are you in the middle of a frustrating journey today? Are you like me and scared to take the wrong path? Are you in the fast lane and just begging God to flash some big green sign in front of your face? SLOW DOWN and LISTEN. Trust with ALL your heart. Quit trying to understand it ALL... HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS... and mine too. Just remember to keep close enough to Him to feel His nudge when it is time to make a turn onto yet another narrow path.