I've been going through a bit of a pity party lately. It isn't anything new. It is that kind of party you wait to have until no one is available to come. You use all your energy planning, cooking, decorating... knowing full well no one will show up and you are going to be disappointed anyway. Why even throw the party in the first place... maybe it is so you have an EXCUSE to feel bad.
Anyway, things just seem to aggravate me. Nothing seems fair. It seems whether I try to do the right thing or not, something goes wrong and I ALWAYS seem to get hurt through it. I have been here before. Many times. Have you been there? Have you had those times where you just throw your hands up and say, "Why even try?"
The concept of "RIGHT" has really been on my mind lately. Unfortunately we are living in a day and age where "right" is a relative term. We choose the definition of right to be based on our own ideas and perspectives rather than it's true definition of "something true, correct, a fact". I am working on a project at work that is just an amazing grassroots initiative to improve global morality... what a job! But it has really had me thinking about why we choose to do right.
In my struggles lately, I have once again began to question God. "JESUS!!! Why choose to do right when I get hurt either way? If doing what is right feels like this.... I know doing wrong will hurt eventually too.. but at least I can enjoy a few moments of feeling good for a change." I tell the Lord, "I love you God. I want to do what is right. But it just HURTS SO BAD right now."
Now I know, from my past experiences, that doing wrong can feel WONDERFUL in the moment... but I also know the results are often MORE painful than I ever imagined. Have you ever noticed how pain is only an "in the moment" experience? Ladies, think about childbirth. We all know the pain! (Unless of course you had such a good epidural like me that you slept through the entire thing. SIDE NOTE: That was only with one child... I full well know the pain.) Anyway.. in the moment.. the pain is almost unbearable! But the result.. OH THE JOY OF THE RESULT!
I am maybe getting a bit off track today, but what I want you to see is something that God showed me yesterday when reading a VERY familiar scripture. Read Psalm 23. Verse 3 really hit me, "...he leadeth me in paths of righteousness for HIS name's sake." Why do we live a righteous life? Why do we chose what is right... EVEN when the moment of pain seems to great to bear? We do it for HIS name's sake!!! If there were ever a cause to promote, isn't it the name of Jesus? If childbirth is worth it for our own "name's sake".. our children.... then shouldn't we be able to bear this moment of pain for the one who gave His very life for us?
You know.. even Jesus wanted to avoid the pain. He spent hours in prayer, on His face before God, asking to have "this cup taken from me". He even said, "Father, Why have thou forsaken me?" It is okay to have the feelings you are having right now. IF JESUS in His Holiness had feelings like that, then why wouldn't you? BUT.... remember.... the pain is FOR HIS NAME SAKE!!!
(If you are interested in finding out more about choosing RIGHT and living a MORAL life. Look for information on MOMENT FOR MORALITY at Facebook.)